Now, as a woman who has been pregnant twice, I see a couple of problems with Lindsay’s concern.  First, and most obviously, is that Bristol Palin is five months pregnant.  Any day now, she’s going to start looking the part, and if Governor Palin had denied the story what would she say?  “No, I’m sorry. She’s just gotten fat.”  Maybe a better answer would be, “Yes, she is pregnant, and I lied to all of you.”  That’s not what anyone needs.  Not only was it wise of Palin to be up-front with the people who will be voting on whether or not to elect her and Senator McCain, it was admirable.  There are enough people in the world who are willing to lie to get ahead, save face, or make a name for themselves.

The next problem goes right along with the first.  In four months there will be a baby to be accounted for.  If, by some miracle, the Palin family was able to hide Bristol’s pregnancy the entire nine months, there would still be a baby one day.  Then what? Would Lindsay, purveyor of all knowledge, prefer we’d all just turned our eyes from Bristol’s burgeoning belly until then?

Far be it for Lindsay Lohan to turn on her brain before she turned on her computer and blessed us with her “thoughts.” (As if she really has any.) In the same blog, she writes that all she keeps hearing about is Sarah Palin’s pregnant teen daughter, and that “Its (her grammar error, not mine) distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences.” 

First, let’s point out the obvious. Sarah Palin is not the one drawing attention to her daughter’s pregnancy.  Whether they work for E!, the New York Times, or some Podunk, small town weekly, it is instinctive for every journalist to find a story, spin it, and sell it.  Just like everyone else, journalists need to get paid, and honey, digging up dirt on Sarah Palin’s doe-faced, 17-year-old daughter is certainly a good way to do it.  (I have some authority on this; just look at my degree.)  Palin was wise to publicly acknowledge Bristol’s pregnancy now.  Denying it or avoiding it weren’t solutions—no one likes a liar, and let’s face it, the truth would get out eventually.  I’m surprised that Lohan is so quick to blame Palin, when she’s been in the news so often, whining and complaining about the paparazzi that stalk her and the magazines that misquote her.

Now let’s delve into the bigger issue with Lindsay’s journey into the blogosphere.  Again, to quote the genius that is Lindsay Lohan, “Its distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences.”  Really, Lindsay? What might those problems be?  Could you please, please tell me what problems you’ve experienced today?  I’m certain that the problems that those of us who live in the real world experience aren’t the same as the ones that trouble you.  You see, as a country, we’re experiencing economic distress, because too many people want to give too much to people who don’t do anything.  They say, let’s make those people who work hard for their money (and no, going to a club to promote your next crappy album doesn’t count as work) shell out just a little more, so that those people who don’t work can also have insurance and houses and cable, and so that those with over-bloated bank accounts (that one does include you) can just continue to sit there, and make more money. 

Those of us who live in the real world face problems like trying to pay the mortgage and daycare in the same week.  We normal, average people here in the real world struggle to keep marriages together, and to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids.  We as a country, struggle to uphold and maintain the Godly values this country was founded on, in principle and in purpose.  You, and everything you stand for, mock all of that.  You “work,” but really, you party and play with your girlfriend.  You have “problems”, but really, your problem is that you don’t appreciate anything you have and you aren’t wise enough to realize that the real problem our country faces is people like you.

From now on, stick to what you’re good at, and go find yourself a nice club to party in. Leave the singing to someone who can carry a tune, and the acting to any girl that can smile and actually looks good blonde.