Now, as a woman who has been pregnant twice, I see a couple of problems with Lindsay’s concern.  First, and most obviously, is that Bristol Palin is five months pregnant.  Any day now, she’s going to start looking the part, and if Governor Palin had denied the story what would she say?  “No, I’m sorry. She’s just gotten fat.”  Maybe a better answer would be, “Yes, she is pregnant, and I lied to all of you.”  That’s not what anyone needs.  Not only was it wise of Palin to be up-front with the people who will be voting on whether or not to elect her and Senator McCain, it was admirable.  There are enough people in the world who are willing to lie to get ahead, save face, or make a name for themselves.

The next problem goes right along with the first.  In four months there will be a baby to be accounted for.  If, by some miracle, the Palin family was able to hide Bristol’s pregnancy the entire nine months, there would still be a baby one day.  Then what? Would Lindsay, purveyor of all knowledge, prefer we’d all just turned our eyes from Bristol’s burgeoning belly until then?

Far be it for Lindsay Lohan to turn on her brain before she turned on her computer and blessed us with her “thoughts.” (As if she really has any.) In the same blog, she writes that all she keeps hearing about is Sarah Palin’s pregnant teen daughter, and that “Its (her grammar error, not mine) distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences.” 

First, let’s point out the obvious. Sarah Palin is not the one drawing attention to her daughter’s pregnancy.  Whether they work for E!, the New York Times, or some Podunk, small town weekly, it is instinctive for every journalist to find a story, spin it, and sell it.  Just like everyone else, journalists need to get paid, and honey, digging up dirt on Sarah Palin’s doe-faced, 17-year-old daughter is certainly a good way to do it.  (I have some authority on this; just look at my degree.)  Palin was wise to publicly acknowledge Bristol’s pregnancy now.  Denying it or avoiding it weren’t solutions—no one likes a liar, and let’s face it, the truth would get out eventually.  I’m surprised that Lohan is so quick to blame Palin, when she’s been in the news so often, whining and complaining about the paparazzi that stalk her and the magazines that misquote her.

Now let’s delve into the bigger issue with Lindsay’s journey into the blogosphere.  Again, to quote the genius that is Lindsay Lohan, “Its distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences.”  Really, Lindsay? What might those problems be?  Could you please, please tell me what problems you’ve experienced today?  I’m certain that the problems that those of us who live in the real world experience aren’t the same as the ones that trouble you.  You see, as a country, we’re experiencing economic distress, because too many people want to give too much to people who don’t do anything.  They say, let’s make those people who work hard for their money (and no, going to a club to promote your next crappy album doesn’t count as work) shell out just a little more, so that those people who don’t work can also have insurance and houses and cable, and so that those with over-bloated bank accounts (that one does include you) can just continue to sit there, and make more money. 

Those of us who live in the real world face problems like trying to pay the mortgage and daycare in the same week.  We normal, average people here in the real world struggle to keep marriages together, and to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids.  We as a country, struggle to uphold and maintain the Godly values this country was founded on, in principle and in purpose.  You, and everything you stand for, mock all of that.  You “work,” but really, you party and play with your girlfriend.  You have “problems”, but really, your problem is that you don’t appreciate anything you have and you aren’t wise enough to realize that the real problem our country faces is people like you.

From now on, stick to what you’re good at, and go find yourself a nice club to party in. Leave the singing to someone who can carry a tune, and the acting to any girl that can smile and actually looks good blonde. 

So I made the call to Microsoft, and as expected they asked me for the serial number of my Xbox.  As I was reading it off over the phone I noticed the manufacture date of mine was actually November 2005!  Probably not very exciting to most of you, but if you own a 360 you probably know that they extended the warranty of most units from one year to three years to try to alleviate the outcry about so many broken 360s.  Whew, I just barely made it.  I guess I should consider myself lucky that it broke now, and not six months from now. 

A few minutes later I was told I’d receive a UPS label and then I could drop it off at any UPS Store and expect it back in two to three weeks.  Overall it has been a relatively painless process so far for me, but I’ve heard some pretty bad horror stories (sorry Autstin), so I’ll keep my fingers crossed until I receive my new Xbox 360. 

Curse you Microsoft. 

Now most people would have probably given up and done without desktop effects for the time being.  But I have actually come to rely on many of the features, and was determined to get it working again no matter what.  Little did I know that it would take me nearly 6 hours of re-formatting, re-installing, and trudging through forum posts to try and find the solution.  And when I finally did get it fixed, all it took was adding one line to one config file.  Yeah, talk about wasting time.

As it turns out, they decided to blacklist a large portion of older ATI laptop graphics cards.  They did this because a couple models exhibited major problems with their drivers, and they didn’t have time to pinpoint exactly which models.  So they just blacklisted them all and disabled desktop effects for users with cards on the blacklist.  Great choice huh.  Anyway, adding a line to skip the blacklist check was all it took.  Now I’m back up and running!

Sometimes I hate computers…

But the simple fact is, the Wii has been out for about a year and half. No product, ever, should be unavailable a year and a half after its release. Sure, the Wii is selling well, but it isn’t selling well enough to warrant that. I should be able to walk in to any Walmart, Target, Best Buy, GameStop, whatever, and pick one up at any time. I was going to post production numbers and sales numbers and come up with an argument about why they should have more in stores than they do, but after looking into it, the data just didn’t seem very reliable. So I’m just going to make the claim that there is no excuse for product shortages two Christmas’s in a row. I don’t think any product has even had that happen before.

So that’s it Nintendo. After looking at the empty shelf for nearly 18 months (we get groceries once a week, and while I don’t go everytime, I’d say between grocery trips, the mall, and random outings I’ve looked at least once a week; so that makes 72 disappointments), I’m throwing in the towel. Even if by some miracle I happen to see one, I won’t be buying it. I’ll just be comforted by the fact that my Xbox 360 will welcome me at anytime.

Later, gators.

To my disappointment, the drive bit the dust yesterday. I used it pretty much every day during the past nine months, but that’s no excuse. My SanDisk Cruzer Micro (512MB) that I bought several years ago is still working great, and I used it for a couple of years during college on an almost daily basis.

So, for anyone in the market for a flash drive, DO NOT buy an UltraProducts FlyDrive. I’ve included a photo just in case the name doesn’t stick with you.

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We have a biter.

Lately, Josh and I have noticed an increase in Xavier’s curiousity. He inspects everything, and then almost unfailingly, sticks said object in his mouth. (Or, if the object is too big, he’ll settle for licking it instead.) This little quirk of our child’s is quickly becoming quite a painful learning experience for all of us. Not only does Xave bite his toys, he now bites people.

Today, he bit me on my cheek, leaving a welt and a red mark.  Now, this isn’t the first time he’s bit someone hard. Yesterday he did something similar to Josh.  Both Josh and I said something along the lines of “Ow” or “OUCH!” Both times, Xavier cracked up laughing. Apparently he doesn’t understand that our little outbursts mean that we aren’t fond of his new game. (That better be the reason-I’d hate to think he’s a morbid meanie already.)

Anyway… I don’t know what to do. A couple people have told me to bite him back, but I don’t want to do that.  (Besides, if he’s gonna be mad at someone, it’s gonna be Josh and not me!)  I would think he’d understand that it hurts. He bit his own wrist so hard a couple of days ago that he cried. Silly boy. I hope he learns soon.

It did.

After we got cleaned up, put Xavier back to bed, and were laying quietly in ours, I prayed that God would take care of my sweet little guy, that somehow, he’d miraculously feel better and sleep the rest of the way through the night.

No such luck.

Around one-ish, Xavier was understandably hungry. (Afterall, it looked like he thew up everything he’d eaten in the past week.)  So, I started to give him a bottle. It went really, really well.

Until my peaceful, quiet baby again turned into Krakatoa. Again, he and his PJs were covered in vomit.  (This time is was purple, like his pedialyte.)  Again, I was covered in vomit-my hair got it way worse in the second blast. Again, the floor (this time his) was covered. …And again, Xavier started to cry uncontrollably.

We were up until 3:47.

Then Josh got up around 5:00 to go to work. At 5:53, Xavier woke up, crying, wanting to be held, unable to eat or drink and only now (9:28) has literally passed out on the living room floor.

Needless to say, I’ve called his doctor’s office. They’re supposed to be calling me back.  I swear, if they tell me nothing’s wrong, I’m going to have a little eruption of my own… Better yet, if they tell me to bring him in and I have to pay another co-pay to hear his doctor tell me there is nothing wrong, that there’s nothing she can do, she better be the one praying to God. …Yeah.

Ok, well, I’m gonna try to get the crustified vomit out of my hair in case they tell me to bring him in.

Now, onto the real reason for this post.  I just got puked on, again. One moment, my child was slumbering peacefully in my arms, after having just finished his bottle. The next, he violently erupted, like a volcano, spewing forth a seemingly endless stream of vomit.  Of course, all of this caused Xavier to wake up and (of course) cry.  As Josh carried him off to the kids’ bathroom to get cleaned up, I scooted off of our bed where I’d given Xave-o his bottle, and looked at the aftermath.

I almost puked too.

Have you ever seen that orange-ice cream punch? You know the kind. You make it by pouring orange pop over vanilla ice cream and it’s served at like a five-year-old’s birthday party.  Ok. Well imagine that milky orange color.  Now imagine it covering your white sheets, your new PJ pants, your shirt, your hair, your bedroom carpet and your kid.  Better yet, imagine all of that, and then imagine that all the orange stuff has the pleasant aroma of curdled, spoiled milk… mixed with bile.

Now, I won’t complain that Josh didn’t help. He did. He cleaned Xavey off, put him in some clean PJs, and got him back to sleep.  I, in the meantime, had to take on the pleasant task of cleaning up the disaster zone (which included my freshly showered body). …Nine months pregnant is not the best time for a woman to have to face her fear of vomit. I shuddered as I rinsed out my hair, gagged as I stripped off my soaked pajamas, and by the time I got to removing our messy sheets, felt my stomach heaving.

Ugh.

Please get well soon Xavey. Mommy needs a break, just a little one, before Ali gets here.