What it is, Xavier and Ali Style.

Published on August 26th, 2009 - 8:37 pm - by Megan | Add a comment below

Category: frontpage

First, I will  acknowledge that yes, it’s been a heck of a long time since I’ve posted anything on here. I promise you, I’ve received more than enough flack about it from my handsome hubby (who reserves the right to make me call him that for approximately three more days, thanks in part to the beautiful necklace he bought me for our anniversary, and in part to the actual activities surrounding the event of our fourth anniversary), who has done everything short of bribe me to post something on here… (Wait, was the necklace actually a bribe?!?  Man, you’re good.)

Anyway, if you’ll forgive my absence, I promise to entertain you for at least the next two minutes and twelve seconds.  As you read along, you’ll quickly realize that I haven’t been slacking in my “off” time… For those of you new to the blogosphere, or simply with memories shorter than our two-year-old daughter’s, let’s have a quick recap.  Josh and I got married right before our senior year of college started, and a little over nine-months later, I popped out a baby boy we dubbed Xavier (also referenced as Xave, Xavey, X, Xave-o-potato, and simply, Potato)…and no, I wasn’t preggo when we got married. Then we moved our brand-new little family a thousand miles from home (being Ohio) to the barren waste land of Texas (which is not at all dissimilar to my theories about what Hell must be like).  Eleven months after Xavier was born (yes, he wasn’t even a year old yet), Ali made her debut.  You read that right. Before our second anniversary, Josh and I had somehow managed to produce two healthy, beautiful, intelligent, crazy kidletts, move across the country, and not kill each other.   Our sanity has suffered, but we’re way more fun because of it.

So… back to our amazing kids – the sole reason for my disappearance from most things I used to enjoy, but totally worth it.  Worth the kajillion dirty diapers (and dollars spent on the aforementioned diapers), sleepless nights,  stretch marks, cesarean sections (plural), and times I nearly peed my own pants.    Xavier and Ali are three and two now, and they are constantly entertaining us with their little pearls of wisdom and their amazingly insightful comments.

Without further ado, I present to you the following quotes, retellings, and stories about our kiddos from the past few months.

 

Xavier

This is the most recent story I have to tell you about X.  It’s a little gruesome, really hysterical, and kind of morbid. Enjoy.

Right after I finished singing, “My Sunshine” to Xavier, he reached over and put his hand on my face, and snuggled his stuffed hippo, Owen, under my arm. Then he grabbed his stuffed little lion and gave him a big hug.  I had been so amazed by the cuteness of the moment that when he actually opened his mouth, I was shocked.

“Mommy,” he looked into my eyes and patted my cheek, making sure I was looking into his big green eyes. He sucked in a deep breath, and continued.  “I gotta kill a dog.”

Our cute moment came to a screeching halt as I stuttered and stammered for words, appalled and shocked at the words my three-year-old was saying.  “No, Xavey, we don’t kill dogs. That’s not nice!” I spewed the words out, trying to think of a way to convince him that his idea was very, very bad.

“But mommy, I gotta!” he assured me.  I started to object again, when he continued, explaining himself. “”I gotta kill the doggie so he’ll lay in my bed with me and not move like my Owen and my lil’ lion.”  Finally, the wheels in my head started turning (backwards maybe?), and I could finally understand what Xave was really trying to say.

 …Yes, folks. My son thinks his stuffed animals are actually dead creatures. Maybe I’ll save the neighbors labs from whatever fate Xave is dreaming up, and just go buy him a stuffed dog before it’s too late.

 

 

Ali

Ali-gator is such a goof, and more than anything,  she just wants to be exactly like Xavier…

The other day, Xavier and Ali were in the bathtub (together, because they’re siblings, they’re little, and I’m hard-pressed for time), when she stood up and declared herself.

“Mama, I a BOY!” she screeched happily.

Of course, being older and wiser, Xavier objected to her statement vehemently. “You’re not a boy Ali. I’m a boy and YOU are a gerrr-uhl.” (Funny how even at three, he can make certain words sound like expletives.) And of course, when challenged by her big brother, Ali rose to the occasion.

“No!! I A BOY!” she hissed, splashing water everywhere.  I was about to intercede, when Xavier steered their match in a most humorous direction. In a flash, he was standing beside Ali, pointing to his pee-pee.

“No, Ali. I am a boy, you are a girl. MINE is OUT, YOURS is IN. MINE’S OUT, I’m a BOY!!! You’re a girl,” he declared victoriously. I have no idea what I said at this point, because I was trying so hard not to die laughing.

Ali looked at Xavier, and then glanced at her own situation. Then she examined more carefully, and for a minute I thought she might cry when she was unable to find her “out” parts.

Finally, Ali looked up, indignant and sure of her word. “No, Ver-ver [trans:Xavier].  I a boy too. My pee-pee’s just breaked.” And with that she grinned a happy little smile and plopped back down in the water.

 

I promise, I’ll update this more, with the rest of the cute stories I’ve reserved for this special occasion.

Tags: Ali, Xavier